We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I cockslap morals
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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