Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm at about main and main street
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
