yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
