Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
