If i come over, it means nothing
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
