Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
ttyl tear gas
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
