well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
