first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
