so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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