He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So vagazzling was a success
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
