there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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