just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
