This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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