so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
