Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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