girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
