My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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