So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize