she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
