Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
