He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
