This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
