The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
