Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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