I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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