just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
