there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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