Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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