Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
