I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
