fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
