three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
