Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
