Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
