If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
