I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
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