Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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