dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
