You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
