Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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