we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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