help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
