Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
