he wants to bone in the snuggie
Only a mothe r could love this liver
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
