I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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