im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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