He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
