Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
