Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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