I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
