I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
