Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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