I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize