I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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