The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
