Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
