I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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