I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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